Dreams: Unfulfilled

-Sadiksha Gautam

After thinking for hours, I realized that I had nothing. No best friend, no personal diary, no make up kit and so may uncountable things that are missing in my life. I also tried to remember the person to whom I could tell all my feelings. Was it mom? I asked myself. Then came an answer- no. Was it dad then? I am so stupid to ask this because mom is more close to me than dad. Those things which I can’t tell mom, how can I tell it to dad? I laughed at myself. Was there any friend? I thought of my closest friend yet there were some secrets hidden inside me. Then who was it? The answer came- none. Then I thought maybe I am waiting for someone to tell all my secrets. Then who was it? Maybe a boyfriend…..

I am not the only one in this world to think this way. Today’s most of the generation thinks in the same way and I am among them yet I don’t have any bf because I never desired of one. I am 18 and amazing not even a single guy in my life. It may be because I am rather a tom boy type than today’s trend of “so-called” hot chicks. I don’t want boys noticing me or fighting with a lover or be embarrassingly romantic in a public place. Rather than thinking about a boy I prefer to remember the moments I have been dreaming for many years. Time may have changed but it was unable to change me. The dream of studying at Budhanilkantha may have changed but my desire to be there is still fresh in my memory. The sweet 10 year girl who used to fight with her brothers, laugh with friend over silly jokes and cry silently alone still resides in me. I want to break free. The freedom of walking for watching tv for long hours and playing with kids still enlightens me with joy.

Yet, I am the girl too matured for her age (my parents say so). I am that type who does not wish for frivolity but wish to be a kid who can get all her desired fulfilled. The same girl who hears whispers of people calling her doctor (PhD of course) from future rather than being called darling or mom. All in all, girl with extraordinary dreams to touch the vast sky.